Cure for Autism?

Came across a blog tonight that claimed to be a Christian blog about Autism. On this site it said that autism is a curse and that if my child has autism I am not truly trusting God to heal them. 

This really upset me. God made my child  like any other child with unique challenges to overcome, some will take longer to work on. Autism (though hard at times) is part of who God made my son. He is a wonderful creation, a masterpiece in his Father's eyes and a beautiful, loving person. I love who he is and will help him become what God wants him to be.  I could never view my son as a curse. And God sees my heart and has helped me and taught me through my son. No, autism is not a curse.... God has a special purpose for each of us and uses our experiences to reach others. My son's story just includes Autism. 

Hardest part of parenting is...

The hardest part of parenting is the constant changing role of the relationship from total caregiver to slowly letting go so they can become who God intends them to be.

Now that Bryan is in middle school he is exploring his new world which is full of new independence and choices. I remember how exciting and scary that time was for me. Learning about growing up and having friends who grow apart because they too are discovering who they are. 

My prayer is that Chuck and I can be Godly parents who can guide, yet not drive away, our kids. I know there will be days ahead that they both will test boundaries and test out their independence and make bad choices. Praying that they will grow to be independent, strong, loving Godly men. Praying also for their future spouses, because some day they will be important pieces in my boys' lives. Time is going so fast so I treasure the hugs, cuddles and the I love yous.  

Start of another school year...

Its the start of another school year! Bryan is now a middle schooler and Jesse is in 2nd grade. How does time go so fast???? This summer was packed full of activities and it went by so quick. Hoping to be able to blog more this year, time just got away from me last year.

Bryan is acting older all the time. He loves art, music, reading, and math. He is talking about going to Midwestern when he is older and going through the Fusion program as well as majoring in Humanities with a mission emphasis. He is still very much my little clown and loves entertaining others. Bryan enjoyed going on a mission trip this summer in which he dressed as a clown and handed out balloons to people (he really loved that he had permission to be silly).

Jesse loves Star Wars, Mickey Mouse, the color orange, math and writing stories. His favorite game right now is doing Story in the Rounds. He has a sweet spirit and recently accept Jesus. He says he wants to be a head chef at a school someday. He is still very dependent on routine and schedules and has a hard time with crowds and noise but is getting better all the time. He LOVES giving hugs and wants to be just like his older brother.

Chuck and I will be celebrating our anniversary this coming week. I am so glad God put him in my life. He is a wonderful husband, father to our kids and my very best friend and I wouldn't want to walk through this life's journey with anyone else. I truly love our life together.

Back to school....

The long (HOT) summer is over. It was great spending time with the boys while they were off from school. We stayed pretty busy.... VBS, Basketball, camps, and a trip to Minnesota. The boys are back in school now. Both full day for the first time.




Bryan is in 4th grade and is pretty excited about his class being tech based. They have laptops, smartboard, video camera and digital camera to use in their studies. He is becoming such a little man and his likes are changing and maturing. He is more into older kid things and is looking forward to being a part of the church youth group and being a teen. (Lord, protect him and keep me sane!!!)

Jesse is in Kindergarten and doing really well. He loves being a big boy and riding the regular bus with his brother. His days are still pretty busy though. He attends a mainstream class, and specials (art, PE, music, Library), as well as speech therapy, Occupational therapy, Physical therapy and works with the special needs instructor. He comes home happy, yet exhausted!



I thought I would have all this time on my hands once the boys were in school, yet I am still crazy busy!! Working on things for the church, helping people out and running this way and that. LOL Had to have an "Off the Grid" day a few days ago and stayed at home watching tv, reading, napping and doing a few chores around here... ignored the door and phone.

Taking a few more steps....

Was asking the boys what they did at school today and after Jesse was done telling me what he had done, he actually asked me what I had done, listened and asked questions while I told him! It was so nice to have a 2 sided conversation with him!

April

Hope everyone had a wonderfully blessed Easter. We spent the day with our church family in the morning and then relaxing at home and BBQing. The kids hunted eggs and played in the backyard. School is wrapping up soon and all the end of the year things have started...

Bryan has state testing this week and next, field trip and field day coming up. Bryan still loves science and math and wants to join the swim team this summer. He has grown up so much over the last year. He is a big help around the house and is starting to act more like a preteen. (Moodiness and all UGH!!!)

We attended Intro to Kindergarten last week for Jesse. He has Kindergarten screening at the end of the month and preschool graduation on May 7th.  I was really nervous at first about him going into Kindergarten but I think he will do well. He has started learning to read, loves spelling, and is picking up Spanish. He can count to 100 in both English and Spanish now!!!

We are going to have a pretty busy summer. Monday night basketball and bible club, VBS, possible Mission Trip to South Dakota, trip to MN, camp and swimming. I think the travel will be good for both boys. Just wishing we could get back to CA for a visit! Been missing family and friends. I hate that it costs so much!

10 Commandments for interacting with kids on the Spectrum

1. Thou shall not yell when speaking to me.

My disability does not impair my hearing and I am extremely bright. Perhaps even brighter than you are.

2. Thou shall not ignore me, talk negatively about me, speak unnaturally slow, or ask questions to others in the room that pertain to me.

I can comprehend what you are saying just fine.

3. Thou shall believe in me and help me believe in my skills and self worth.

Note the good in me and do not merely point out my negative behaviors. Believe in me and I will believe in myself.

4. Thou shall not perceive me as dumb.

I am extremely intelligent. I do not learn in the same way as you, and maybe not as quickly as you expect me to. Have patience with me. Once I recall information, I never forget.

5. Thou shall not judge my behavior.

I can get overstimulated in certain environments. I may be hypersensitive to sound and loud noises may hurt my ears. Fluorescent lights are distracting for me. They have a humming noise, and can pulsate. All the noises in a room can blur together. Please make accommodations to help me.

6. Thou shall not be so quick to scold me.

Do not tell me that “I know what I did”. I do not. Tell me what my infraction was in a simple, concise manner. I want to please you, but I have difficulties inferring meaning within a vague statement. For instance, do not say please clean up your bedroom. Tell me exactly what you want, such as ‘Please make your bed and pick up your toys”.

7. Thou shall not compare me to others.

Please remind me, and note the talents that I possess. This increases my confidence and positive self worth. Learning disabled or not, we ALL have talents to contribute within society. I need you to help me realize what mine is. Believe in me and I will believe in myself.

8. Thou shall not exclude me from activities.

Please do not mimic me, ignore me, or bully me. Please invite me to play with you. It hurts my feelings when I am excluded. I like to run and jump in the playground, and be invited to birthday parties too. Grownups can help me make friends by encouraging other children to play with me. I can be a loyal friend if you get to know me.

9. Thou shall give me choices.

I do not like being ordered about any more than the other children. Give me choices so I know you value my capabilities and opinions. Make them simple and concise. Present two options or so. I get confused when too many questions or directions are given at one time due to my processing speed. For instance, ask me if I would like to wear my blue sweater or green one, rather than asking which sweater I would like to wear.

10. Thou shall not judge me by my diagnosis, but by my character.

I am an individual, just like other children.

A reason to celebrate...

When my son Jesse was 8 or 9 months old I started noticing things about him that made me think he could be autistic. He didn't really interact and loved staring out the window or looking at how the sunlight would play on his skin for hours. He was scared of loud, sudden sounds and didn't tolerate the texture of food well. I mentioned this one day to his DR who told me I was an overly concerned mother and that there was no way we could know something like that so early on. The Dr wanted us to wait until Jesse was 5 to really voice concerns.

As Jesse grew my concerns continued. He wasn't talking, didn't play with toys, didn't walk until he was 18 months old and continued to enjoy being in his own little world.

Thankfully we had a wonderful Parents As Teacher case worker and friend who also was concerned about Jesse and helped us get him in our states Early Intervention program. He started receiving speech therapy, Occupational therapy and Physical therapy. He was also evaluated through this program and received his diagnosis of Mild/Moderate Autism Spectrum Disorder.

I have gone through times where I have been very depressed, angry, hurt and felt like I lost something, but at the same time having his diagnosis has allowed us to help him in a way that we might not have been able to before. His diagnosis is not a label... it was a means for us to reach our son.

Jesse turned 5 last week, and as I sit here and think about everything we have gone through so far in this journey, I realize we truly have a reason to celebrate. We have our son and he is talking, laughing, happy and very unique. I have gained so much in learning about who he is and what it means to find joy in the simple things of life. Had we waited to "become concerned" about him when he turned 5 I am not sure I would have had the joy of a conversation with him about what he did in school today or the fact that he told me he had fruit snacks that had green, orange, yellow and blue but no purple or red. I have learned to laugh about some of his quirks. They are who he is and we are very blessed.

Wow February already...

Things have been crazy so far this year. We have all been battling the flu... each of us having our turn with it and Jesse has had it twice now. Its been going around like crazy in our area.

This winter has been really nice and mild. We are expecting our first snow storm Sunday into Monday. Could get up to 4 inches. A little worried because Chuck will be flying home Monday from Orlando... hoping that his flight isn't delayed.

Jesse will be turning 5 on Monday! I can't believe how fast time has gone by. No more baby. We will be celebrating his birthday on the 19th with a small get together. Nothing to big because we don't want to stress him out.

Bryan is still doing really well at school but has had a hard year with friends. A boy at school isn't being really nice... one minute he is his friend the next he is bullying Bryan or telling others not to be friends with him. I hate seeing how much it hurts him. We have told him to stay away from the kid that he is not and has never been his friend. Bryan is just so forgiving.

I have been sticking to a exercise routine and have made changes in my diet. So far I have lost almost 10 pounds! Very excited about it and have been feeling better too. Maybe this time I can stick with it.

Happy New Year!

We have had a very eventful start to our year. Chuck and I got memberships to the local gym and have really been focusing on making positive changes in our lives. Changing our diet, committing to eating healthier and setting a good example for our boys. I have really enjoyed going to the gym more then I thought I would. I have also decided to try and expand my cooking skills... I am not fond of cooking but its healthier to cook at home.

After my annual eye appointment the DR started suspecting that I had Keratoconus, which happens when the cornea of your eye changes from round to more of a cone shape and the cornea thins causing blindness. Yesterday I went and had a eye scan done and found out that my eyes are showing the signs, so I am high risk and will need to have a scan done every year.

The boys have been really enjoying the warmer weather this winter. We have only had one snow this winter so far and it barely covered the ground... definitely not enough to build a snow man or go sledding. I have been enjoying the weather, even though I missed having a white Christmas. Its nice to be able to take them to the park and let them run.

Bryan's report card came back with straight A's and he has placed all advanced except one area which he brought up from basic to proficient. He has finally found a group of friends that seem to be a nice group.

Jesse is doing a lot better now that the DR has put him back in glasses. He is starting to read again and is having an easier time focusing. We had our first IEP (Individual Education Plan) to close out this year and start preparing for him to enter Kindergarten. I can't help but see how much he has changed over the last few years in preschool and therapy. Can't even imagine where he would be with out it.

As the year comes to a close....

This year has certainly flown by! From the blizzards that started the year to the 60 degree Christmas we had yesterday, it was definitely quite an interesting year. And I am looking forward to the many memories that 2012 is sure to bring.

Chuck is managing the Taco Bell at the Travel Center he has been working at. He is doing very well and is one of the top ranking restaurant managers in the district for his company. He has been enjoying joining the men from our church Tuesdays for coffee and prayer (when he can) and he has started "guys" night at our house which has been great for Bryan.

Bryan is now in the 3rd grade and has become quite the writer. He has a wonderful imagination and enjoys story telling. I am very proud of him! He is getting straight A's in school and enjoys attending church activities. He is really growing up fast and is a very big help around the house and with his brother. His favorite show (right now) is WWE ... mostly because of the time he gets with his dad while watching it. He loves Star Wars, drawing and playing with legos.

Jesse is in his last year of preschool. I can hardly believe he will be in Kindergarten next August. He is doing really well with his speech, talks up a storm now and loves being with other kids. He loves Mickey Mouse, building with blocks, doing puzzles and play cars. He enjoys singing and making jokes. Loves to count and spell. He has made lots of big steps into being more independent and loves announcing that he is a big boy and not a baby.

I have been enjoying teaching the Mission Friends class at our church and spending time with the ladies in the book club I attend. Other than that the kids keep me pretty busy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I am very blessed with being able to be home with them. I know it will be difficult for me to have both kids in full day school next year but at the same time look forward to not having to fit errands into a 3 hour time slot.

Christmas time is here again....

The kids are still in school but its starting to wind down for Christmas break. We have all our decorations up and I have some gifts already wrapped. We went Christmas tree shopping the other day and unexpectantly ran into Santa.... and were able to get a picture with him. Jesse wasn't as open this year to sitting with him so Chuck joined the picture. Despite Jesse's reluctance over meeting Santa, he is really excited about Christmas and has started singing a few Christmas carols. Bryan on the other hand is at the point where he is to old for Santa but doesn't want to ruin it for his brother. He is really kind of enjoying being in on the "secret". We are all really excited that Chuck will be on vacation for the week of Christmas. The only thing we are missing is the snow! Its been a warm winter so far and we have only had a dusting of snow that was gone with in hours.



School is going better for both boys. Bryan's midterm grades came back a week ago and I am proud to say that he had straight A's. He was placed in a book club which was for the more advanced readers. He has more work because of it but he is enjoying it. He loves his class but has been having some problems with another little boy... one day will be his friend, and then the next he is making fun of him. Jesse took a while to readjust to school after summer and is now starting to do better. He is talking a lot more and playing with the other kids. And is completely potty trained now!! He will be starting Kindergarten next fall with a one on one assistant which will be good for him.

A lesson learned from a beautiful person

Thankful that I got a chance to meet Danny. What an amazing man who was cherished by many. Inspired me with his faith in Christ that remained child like and allowed me to see how big an impact a special needs person can be on a community no matter where they end up in this life. He knew what was truly important and was happy in life because of it. Celebrating knowing that he is with Jesus now.

Paper flowers and Autumn cookies

Looking forward to a nice quiet weekend with my family at home. Last weekend our church had the Harvest carnival. Jesse dressed up as a farmer and Bryan won the costume contest for his chicken.

Had a fantastic day with the kiddos. Because of parent teacher conferences last Monday and Tuesday there wasnt any school today. The boys watched the old 1940's Casper cartoons for a little bit then we had a nice hot breakfast together. Bryan and I finished watching a Discovery channel series called The Colony. He loves Science Fiction. Poor guy cried when it was over. He wanted more! :) So I introduced him to the show Jericho this evening.

The boys helped me make some Halloween cookies. Bryan lining them up on the baking sheets and Jesse counting them. Then we made some Coffee filter flowers. The boys loved watching the colors spread and the design change as I sprayed the filters with water.

Jesse tried a new ploy today to get out of his quiet time. He purposely ran into his door was quiet for a long time then said meekly "I'm okay... I'm alright." He thought I would open the door and rescue him from having to have 30 mins of down time. Didn't work ... and in a little bit I heard him singing to himself "Ho-wee Ho-wee Ho-wee Lord God

almi-ee."I love hearing him singing praise songs. Another new thing he started this week is randomly coming up to people and saying "HI! I am ME! Jesse!"

I am very excited to spend an actual weekend with my family. 2 days of having everyone home will be wonderful!

By far its my favorite fall activity....

I love taking the kids to the pumpkin patch, its definitely my favorite fall activity. Last year I was so sick that we missed out on going so I made sure that we went this year. Bryan is getting a little to old for some of the activities there but still had a great time. It was the first time Jesse didn't get overwhelmed by it. He LOVED seeing the animals and playing on the slides and other climbing structures they have. We didn't stay long because the clouds rolled in that it got so cold it felt like it wanted to snow. Was happy that Chuck had a 3 day "weekend" so that he could come too. I hate that he has to go back to work today. Whenever he has days off they seem to go by so fast.






Getting ready to change over the kids clothing to their winter clothes. We had our first frost advisory last night and tonight there is a freeze warning. Chuck and I talked about it and we decided to wait out the winter in this house and then start really working on moving. Don't want to have to move when its so cold outside.

Lots more fun activities coming up. Our church is doing a Harvest carnival this weekend and then we have a friend's birthday to celebrate.

Halloween is just around the corner!

Halloween isn't my favorite holiday at all but the kids love it. I would be content to just skip it and move on to Thanksgiving, except I love seeing the kids dressed up. This year both boys have 2 costumes. One for Halloween and the other for a church Fall Carnival which has a farm theme. Bryan is going to be a clown and a chicken and Jesse is going as a pirate and a farmer. I am really excited about the Carnival. :)

First quarter just ended at school and Bryan is doing very well. All A's and B's. He is struggling with sentence structure. Not that he doesn't know how to do it ... just being lazy. Jesse is having some trouble focusing and is very distracted at school but has had some break throughs. He is finally potty trained (YAY!!!!), can walk down stairs with one foot on each step (instead of both feet on every step), he has also taken an interest in outer space! :)

Chuck is finishing up his big yearly inspection by the Taco Bell corp. to make sure his store is up to company standards. Its been crazy with him working so many hours to make sure everything is the way it should be. He has been told that his manager will be training him soon for a General Manager position on the retail side of a store. Which he has been wanting for a while.

We have a few major changes coming up. We are going to try to sell our house so that we can be ready to transfer when that time comes. Until then we are going to rent. We hope that it helps us save some before a possible move. Bryan knows about it and is keeping positive. He said he doesn't mind moving as long as we take our furniture (he was to young last move to really remember) and our cat which I assured him we would. I am kind of excited about the move and have no emotional connection to the house after all we have been through with the bank. I am fighting the urge to start packing. Excited about whatever adventures are coming.

Our week (so far)

Jesse has had some issues readjusting to the school routine and has digressed some over the summer. He isn't staying focused or participating and is having laughing fits that are hard to gain control over. Was feeling pretty stressed about it all but yesterday he finally got a good report from school. Another thing he has been doing is randomly repeating a number sequence. Its always the same numbers in the same order. Asked his teacher if she has noticed and she has not. We have heard it come out in the middle of a sentence or sometimes out of no where. When he does it he blinks his eyes rapidly. Not sure if this is a form of stiming.

Bryan was home sick from school yesterday after he over indulged on the snacks during "guys night". Hopefully that wont happen every Tuesday. He is back at school today though.

Yesterday I cleaned house and was even able to do some touch ups on the paint in the bathroom. Next week we will be taking apart the bunk bed in Bryan's room. Top part will go in Jesse's room and the bottom will stay in Bryan's. The captain's bed Jesse has will be moved in to the playroom as a guest bed/couch. Just got a little tired of kids getting injured by the ceiling fan as they played on the top bunk... that and Bryan not being able to make his bed because "its to hard." LOL

Complete sentences, please

Bryan and Jesse are off to a fantastic start to the school year.

Bryan, who is now in 3rd grade loves the extra homework (weird I know, but he is my little scholar). Every night he has math, vocabulary and spelling homework and has 3 monthly book reports due. He was working on his first book report last night. Their reports aren't the type I remember that needed to be done in paragraph form telling about the book. It is more of a worksheet where they fill in the blanks. However, the answers need to be written in a complete sentence. Trying to get Bryan to do this is like pulling teeth, but give him a hundred math problems and he is done in a matter of minutes.... (4 minutes to be exact, we timed him once).

Jesse is happy to have friends in his class this year and was excited to see his teachers and therapists again. Jesse has recently started talking in complete sentences... I would say in the last few weeks. I love hearing him really talk after having waited this long to hear his thoughts. He comes home and tells me about his school day now too... however he does it in question form. So instead of saying "Today we played on the playground" he would say, "Did you play outside at school?"
He has also started making up his own stories. When ever he tells me one we write it down and have him draw pictures to go with it, then read it back to him. He LOVES this. So far he has told us a story about a bird who sleeps in a bed in a tree and falls down to be eaten by our cat, another about a bird who flies to the moon to get a lollipop and one about a bug who sits all day long. LOL :) I love all his stories!

Mowing the yard and other things get snipped....

Today is Chuck's 3rd day of vacation. He spent it outside making sure our yard looks nice even as it was pouring rain. Last night we celebrated our anniversary by going out kid free!!! We walked around a near by town's festival, ate at a restaurant, and saw the new Smurf movie.

Got Jasper home today from the vet. He had to have his de-claw redone because he had a claw growing back in... had never heard of it happening before but the vet did it free of charge. While he was there he also got neutered. He will never be a daddy but hopefully we wont have to deal with him spraying the house again. He was so mad at me he refused to even look at me! When they brought him out he stood up in his carrier, and turned his back to me ... he didn't even acknowledge me until I had feed him and gave him clean water and litter. He is now sleeping off the drugs.

Been a nice quiet day with the boys. They are playing wii together (well Bryan is playing and Jesse is holding a remote and saying he is).

Celebrating 10 years!

Today Chuck and I are celebrating our 10th anniversary. Time has flown by. We have been through so much together. We have so many blessings in our life. Thank you sweetheart for being my best friend. I look forward to seeing where God leads us.